Armada 2nd annual Talk like a Pirate day (Arr)!

 

Welcome, welcome me hardies! I’m more jollier than a roger to announce Armada 2nd annual Talk like a Pirate day (Arr)! This voyage we`re nay only on th’ starboard tide but we got interestin’ posts t’ celebrate th’ occasion. But t’ start please click on th’ pic above t’ listen t’ th’ unofficial official `Talk like a Pirate` tide theme song arr…

 

 

Now that that’s ou’ o’ th’ way let’s yo-ho-ho on t’ th’ first-mate gentleman o’ fortune based post o’ th’ tide! Blow me down lads an’ lasses! Thar be many pirates an’ privateers that exist on th’ se’en sea but yet all th’ scurvy swabbies seem t’ give doubloons about be lily skinned land lovers an’ marooned bilge rats. ‘t’s enough t’ make e’en th’ most experienced sea farer toss his grog all o’er th’ deck! Well mates in order t’ remedy this, yer captain here will make ‘t be known th’ se’en best gentleman o’ fortunes on th’ seas. True heroes o’ freedom they arrr! Let’s begin!

 

 

 

 

7. Patchy the Pirate (Spongebob Squarepants)

 

 

What better way t’ continue th’ proud tradition o’ bein’ a buccanneer than by startin’ wi’ th’ young lads an’ ladies. Mainly about th’ tales o’ a underwater flotsam (or jetsam, I could nerereally tell arrr) on a nickelodeon machine, this Seafarin’ hearty known as Patchy sometimes appears t’ entertain th’ masses. He doesn’t steal coins or fine silverware, his steals th’ hearts minds o’ th’ wee ones everywhere. Don’t let yer guard down me hearties, he be a man o’ th’ sea through’n through – if ye don’t tread carefully he may run ye through!

 

 

 

 

6. Don Karnage (Tale Spin Series)

 

 

Arrr! ‘t doesn’t matter if ye be man or anthropomorphic; a buccanneer’s a buccanneer an’ Don Karnage be a buccanneer. Greedy, vain, cruel, will rob anythin’ he sees, perfectly fine qualities fer a pirate – howere Karnage be also a man o’ th’ world; able t’ speak French, Spanish, an’ Italian all at th’ same time. He be also smarter than yer average pirate as well; instead o’ pillagin’ th’ seas he takes his crew t’ th’ skies wi’ his mechanical sky ship th’ Iron Vulture. He once constructed (on th’ afts o’ his crew o’ course) a lightnin’ gun an’ terrorized an entire city – a glorious tide indeed! ‘t didn’t end well but at least they got some good booty ou’ th’ deal maties.

 

 

 

 

5. Captain Syrup (Wario land series)

 

 

The legendary lass leader o’ th’ Black Sugar Pirates (or th’ Black Sugar Gang dependin’ on who ye talk t’ matey). Thar be swashbuckler captains more infamous than th’ lass’ but none more cunnin’. Nay only does she be havin’ th’ loyalty o’ th’ lass’ crew, th’ lass’ own isle, arrr, an’ a ship; but Syrup can trick lily livered fat landlubbers t’ th’ stealin’ fer th’ lass’! An’ she has a genie! I wonder if she’s single arr…

 

 

 

 

4. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece series)

 

 

Now th’ lad here be th’ most un-sea dog sea dog t’ ereexist period. He spends most o’ his time doin’ good, helpin’ th’ helpless, an’ takin’ down other sea dogs FER FREE!!! His crew’s nay better; composed o’ freaks, lubbers, scallywags, an’ grog blossoms. Th’ only reason they’re on this list, (let along #4 bucko) be on accoun’ o’ they’re good PR fer all Swashbuckler kind. Once fat lubbers starts t’ trust sea dogs like we’re the’r shipmates we can rob them anytime we want Arr har har har!

 

 

 

 

3. Isabela (Dragon Age series)

 

 

 

Now this swashbuckler be known as captain, thief, adventurer, hornswaggler, wench, booty hunter, crack more than a wee Jennys grog cups, betrayer, schemer, duelist, survivor, lover, heartbreaker, lucky seadog, an’ more. That’s enough t’ be a full-fledged buccanneer fer life but what make th’ lass’ number 3 be that she instigated a four voyage cold war between two peoples that erupted violently on accoun’ o’ somethin’ she stole an’ then lost. Howereonce Isabela found that item, instead o’ givin’ ‘t aft like some soft bilge rat an’ stoppin’ a bloody battle goin’ on all around th’ lass’ – she bolts, keepin’ th’ item t’ sell fer more dubloon than ye an’ I can count. We salute ye Captain Isabela.

 

 

 

2. Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirate of the Caribbean series)

 

 

 

Borne th’ lad o’ an infamous pirate lord, Captain Jack Sparrow be destined t’ become a great pirate whether he wanted t’ be or nay. He’s been in countless adventures (an’ a wee misadventures) that be havin’ already turn into legends; fought zombies an’ won, beat Davy Jones‘ in single combat, an’ found th’ fabled fountain o’ youth. Why he’s ou’ thar starboard now doin’ somethin’ incredible (if nay totally believable at times) an’ we’ll only hear th’ tale if he comes aft alive (again). Th’ only reason he’s nay th’ number one sea dog be that he’s th’ only sea dog I know who loses more ships than he steals: an’ without a ship ye’re jus’ a swabby in long clothes.

 

 

 

 

1. Captain Hook (Peter Pan and the Pirates / Peter Pan; the Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up)

 

 

 

The apex pirate o’ this or any other time, his true identity be riddled in mystery t’ this tide – Hook be nay e’en his real name. All that be known o’ this man’s past be he be Blackbeard`s boatswain (unconfirmed blige), an’ that he be th’ only man Long John Sil’er ere feared. Hook found his way into a mystical isle, arrr call ‘Neverland’ an’ be constantly at war wi’ an ageless boy who cut off his hand. Despite that run o’ bad juju, Hook’s th’ ultimate gentleman o’ fortune on accoun’ o’ he’s intelligence, fearless, tough (try losin’ an hand an’ still be gentleman o’ fortune let alone captain), educated, bloodthirsty, an’ quite th’ ladies’ man thanks t’ his looks an’ charm. Hook be th’ measurin’ stick all other gentleman o’ fortunes be judged – an’ that’s quite a stick maties. E’en defeated by that brat an’ thrown into a bung hole o’ th’ croc that ate his severed hand; he escaped, quite literary, ou’ th’ belly o’ th’ beast an’ came aft only meaner. What more can I say buckos, what can I tell ye that ye don’t already know. Captain Hook = Pirate.